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18th July 2012
“It's not a bird, it's not a plane. It must be Dave who's on the train”

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GlobalGathering reveal the worst Dance Music lyrics...

The most ridiculous electronic and dance music lyrics ever written have been named and shamed today, as new research reveals the lines that raise the eyebrows of clubbers across the country.
 
The poll, conducted by the UK’s No. 1 electronic and dance music festival GlobalGathering, asked over 2,000 festival-goers, clubbers and dance music fans to vote on the worst electronic music lyrics of all time.
 
From little lumps to hooptie hoops and endless repetition to nonsensical questions, the results reveal the lazy, the shoe-horned in and the simply ridiculous lyrics from the world of dance music.
 
The Black Eyed Peas’ ‘My Humps’ storms in at the top of the poll with 22 per cent of the vote with the immortal “My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps."
 
German techno-heads Scooter take second place for ‘Nassaja’ (18%) with the incredibly random  “It's not a bird, it's not a plane. It must be Dave who's on the train.”  Who is Dave?! Completing the top three with 12% are the 90’s pop-dance annoyances the Venga Boys with one of the most repetitive songs ever: ‘Up and Down,’ the lyrics quite simply largely consisting of: “Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down etc.”
 
Tinie Tempah’s ‘Pass Out’ gets 9 per cent for the line that reveals that he has never been to Scunthorpe – for a multi-platinum artist you think he’d be better travelled.
 
Nicki Minaj’s ‘Starships’ follows with her invitation to “Jump in my hooptie hooptie hoop I own that” (8%), just pipping ‘Troublemaker’ by Taio Cruz, who flatters the object of his affections by comparing her rear end to a coke bottle…
 
The Tamperer feat. Maya’s ‘Feel It’ comes in at number seven with the question “What's she gonna look like with a chimney on her?” (4%) - something most people have probably never wondered.  

Celebrated wordsmiths Snap! follow with their determined and mildly disturbing rhyme of ‘dancer’ with ‘cancer’ in ‘Rhythm is a Dancer’.  Tied with Snap! for eighth place is foul mouthed Azealia Banks with the very confusing tongue twister from ‘212’ - “I can freak a fit that pump with the peep” and completing the top ten are Audio Bullys with ‘Snake’ – including “Head to hat, tape to that, tells a cat, snares a slack Red to pink, plate to, zinc smells a stink, edge to brink.”
 
Just missing out on the top ten are Fatman Scoop with ‘Be Faithful’ who has some poultry issues when he says “All the chicken heads, be quiet” and 2Unlimited who really have ‘No Limits’, making this point very clearly with the lines “No, no, no no no no, no, no no no, no no there's no limits”.
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The Worst Dance Music Lyrics are

1. Black Eyed Peas – My Humps – 22%

“My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps"

2. Scooter – Nassaja – 14%

“It's not a bird, it's not a plane. It must be Dave who's on the train”

3. Venga Boys – Up and Down – 12%

“Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down etc ”

4. Tinie Tempah – Pass Out – 9%

“I've been (to) Southampton but I've never been to Scunthorpe”

5. Nicki Minaj – Starships – 8%

“Jump in my hooptie hooptie hoop I own that”

6. Taio Cruz – Troublemaker – 5%

“Your ass from the side looks just like a coke bottle”

7. The Tamperer feat. Maya – Feel It – 4%

“What's she gonna look like with a chimney on her?”

8. Snap – Rhythm is a Dancer – 3%

“I’m as serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer”

9. Azealia Banks – 212 – 3%

“I can freak a fit that pump with the peep”

10. Audio Bullys - Snake – 2%

“Head to hat, tape to that, tells a cat, snares a slack Red to pink, plate to, zinc smells a stink, edge to brink.”

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